notyourfathersosborn

[The call comes about an hour later. Normie sounds kind far away from the receiver, his voice carrying as if he's in a large open space.]

Hey Pete, what's up?

[ His voice low and serious: ] You might want to take me off speaker for this one.

[The receiver whistles for a moment, then Normie's voice is closer; Peter's definitely off speaker.]

What's wrong?

Doctor Octopus is here.

The old lady? I've always wanted to meet here. When she was a problem, I was... out of commission.

The old what now? Doctor Octopus is a woman where you're from?

[ Huh. He wonders what her plan was to get her hands on Aunt May's nuclear inheritance, in that case. A life insurance scam? ]

Not that those things hurt, exactly. But that's why I'm offering a partnership rather than employment.

[ Speaking of which... ] I have made that offer to two people already, so I'm sure they would appreciate the lab space. Though I would be surprised if Peter hasn't seen your labs extensively already, I'm not sure how well you may know former Ambassador Revan.

As for how much space can be allocated and where, and what sort of overhead I made need to contribute for, those are things we'll need to discuss in more detail when we can. Probably have some sort of contract made up to christen the deal as official.

The new one apparently was. I was still in the hospital at the time, so I didn't actually assist on any of those fights.

[And then Élan sauntered into his life just as he was getting discharged. He shudders at the memory, knowing Peter won't see him since it's audio.]

...Wait, are you talking about Octavius then? He's been dead for a long time.

[Actually he just died fairly recently in Normie's timeline, but he doesn't know that.]

I've already got a great location in mind. I'll have to rearrange some of my engineers but we do it a lot here that it shouldn't be a problem. The lab's got one of my grandfather's old secret Goblin storehouses built into it--sans all of the equipment, I've either burned, destroyed, or re-purposed it--so we can keep any works in progress extra secure. I trust my people implicitly, but an Osborn never believes there's such a thing as too much security.

I'd love to work with Pete, but I can't say I remember the ambassador. They all kind of blend together after a while to me, I'm afraid.

Whenever you want to come by for a walk-through, either alone or with Uncle Pete and Ambassador Revan, let me know and I'll tell the front desk. I'll also work with my lawyers on getting a contract drafted. Don't worry, I won't have them draw it up too much in my favor.

[As if he'd do anything like that to Kanaya. If anything he'll make sure they draft it too heavily in her favor.]

If it's that great a concern, I can have a lawyer of my own to sit in on the proceedings. Most of the money coming my way will go into production and employee salaries anyway, I've already made more than I could ever personally need.

I like the idea of a tour, especially since you don;t know Revan already. It would be a good opportunity for the two of you to meet, and to discern how you might work together.

Kanaya, I'd never do anything to interfere with your business. Unlike the rest of my family I have no desire to cut anyone's throat to make me more wealthy, especially someone I consider a friend. If you want to send a lawyer, by all means, but I'll make sure it's written up in your best interest.

[Wealth is nice, but not when it's built on the backs of other people.]

Why don't you see when everyone else is free, and I'll be sure to clear my schedule that day for you.

Don't think this means that I don't trust you, of course! But if we understood the ins and outs of contractual language, we wouldn't hire lawyers to do it for us. And, should they begin their own proxy war, well, that's what lawyers do.

[ She lets out a laugh. ]

Anyway, I'll give them a call. Hopefully we'll be able to settle everything quickly.

But of course. I'll get my lawyers on it, and then my people will call your people and they can lawyer to their hearts content.

[Yes, he has waited his whole life to use the cliched phrase "I'll have my people call your people."]

Sounds like a plan. Keep me posted.

[ She got you there, buddy! It's a proud day. ]

Of course! Talk to you soon. In the meantime, you'll be hearing from my lawyer.

[ Which is more friendly than that phrase is usually meant, but if they're going to be trading cliched lawyer lines, she had to. ]

I don't know why you would expect that to stop him. What kind of crazy universe do you live in where dead people stay dead?

[Normie laughs before ending the call.

Touche, Kanaya, touche.]

[There's a long pause at that, and when Normie finally does speak, his voice is strangely flat.]

...I guess your world's got the weird quirk where death is a suggestion.

...Peter Parker's mouth, meet Peter Parker's foot. Normie, I'm sorry, I--

...It's all right, Pete. I know you forgot.

[Though, truth be told, it isn't all right. He misses his parents every day, a feeling made even more intense since briefly being reunited with his father, alternate reality version or not.]

It's not actually okay, and you don't have to say it is.

[ He sighs. ]

Anyway. It sounds like you mean Carolyn Trainer? She didn't last that long where I'm from. The one who's here now is Octavius, but I think we're out of sync.

[It's easier to pretend that nothing bothers him so as to not worry anyone he cares about. It's easier to pretend that his dead parent issues are solely between him and his psychiatrist.]

I think that was her name. Like I said, I was out of commission at the time--hospitalized and all--but it sounds familiar. Phil and Mayday would know better than I would, but...

[You know, they're not here.]

What part in your timeline is he from?

Several years behind me, at least. He's not the guy who possessed me yet. Which is a relief, for obvious reasons.

[ He is not nearly as successful at being blasé about that as he'd like to be. ]

He did what?

Oh, right, I guess you weren't around yet when I heard about that. Uh...whoops?

[ Is that, "whoops, I dropped that information really tactlessly," or "whoops, I could have avoided sharing that info altogether?" Who knows? ]

Don't you "Uh, whoops" me Peter Parker. What happened?

IC Contact

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sorry lost in my inbox!

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